Lost Memory, Gained Love
by Well Crap
Summary: HG/DM. Parody of all fics with dumb plots and stupid authors. Amen.
1. The Beginning

A/N: This is a parody of just about every crappy fanfic that I've seen. From the moment that you are done reading this small note, be warned that everything below the dashed line is absolutely absurd. This includes plots, grammar, spelling, and dialogue. Good luck.  
  
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DiScLaiMEr: tHeEZ R nOt mY ChArAcTeRz oR nE-tHiNg!! ThEy R JkR's!!!  
  
A/N: OK!! Im not gonna type like that the whole time LOL that would take 2 long!!!! But that would look kewlies wouldn't it???? LOL!!! I think so 2! SO NEWAYS pelase NO FLAMES!!!!! I hope you lyke my story!  
  
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Hermione woke up from her dreamless sleep. She was in what looked to be a small hospital wing. She looked around curiously at the moving pictures and stone walls. Just then a really hot guy walked in. He had blonde hair and pretty eyes. She blushed when he talked to her.  
  
"Hey Granger how are you."  
  
"Granger?? I'm Granger?" hmm. She was sure that she was a girl. What an odd name, Granger.  
  
"yeah Hermione Granger"  
  
"HERMIONE! You've gotta be kiddin me"  
  
"im not"  
  
"ok"  
  
JUST THEN he walked up to her and kissed her!!! Then he walked away. She felt like she was floating. But THAT'S BECAUSE SHE WAS!!!!!! A nurse walked in and asked her why she was floating. "I don't know. Where am I??" The nurse looked scared and ran away probably to get someone. A few minutes later, she came back in with a very old guy.(A/N: LOL!! Hey, he IS very old!)  
  
"Hello Hermione" he said. He sat down.  
  
"Hello sir" she replied. She was very kind because he looked important.  
  
"Lost your momery?" he asked.  
  
"I think so" she answered.  
  
"Well I hope we can fix it. Poppy will you go get Professor Sprout please?" he said. (A/N: Her name is poppy write?)  
  
"Where am I? Why are those pictures moving?" she interrogated  
  
"You're at Hogwarts, a wizardry school. You are a witch, Hermione." He reminded her.  
  
"Oh ok. Well how will I get my memory back." She wondered out loud to him.  
  
"Well have someone train you" he replied.  
  
The hospital lady came in and then another lady came in. The old man asked the other lady "what happened to her?"  
  
"Neville Longbottom dropped a mandrake on her head. Knocked her out cold."  
  
"did she have earmuffs on?"  
  
"yes"  
  
then the hospital lady enterjectid "Sir, it seems as if the mandrakes have the hidden power to make someone have amnesia."  
  
"seems like it to me too" he said.  
  
The other woman said "it cant be! The only power mandrakes have is to kill you with theyre cry, restore petrifyed people, and make you float when you are kissed by your one true love!"  
  
Then it hit her. Her one true love. That's the guy that had kissed her. She ran out of the hospital and began searching for the hot blonde guy.  
  
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A/N: oK sO I HoPe U LyKeD iT! MoRe cHaPpIeS 2 CoMe sOoN!! R/R!!!! 


	2. The Middle

A/N: For those of you who choose to ignore that this is a parody, please stop. Because it is. Once again, that dashed line.  
  
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DiScLaiMEr: tHeEZ R nOt mY ChArAcTeRz oR nE-tHiNg!! ThEy R JkR's!!!  
  
A/N: OK WELL I COULDN'T WAIT 2 RITE MORE!!!!!1 so I am! I hope you guyz like it! NEWAYS so I was listening to my avril cd and I got this idea and I cant wait to use it!! My friend was over the other night and she said that she lvoed all my stories and that I rite really good and I hope that you all think that 2!!! Ne ways so ya I got this idea from avril! Shez so creative with her music writing! Go av!!!  
  
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Hermione ran down the halls! There seemed to be a million of them, she had nowhere to go. Then she found a big giant door and walked through it. There were four long tables with tons of people sitting in them! She scanned the room for the blonde kid, and she found him!  
  
"HEY YOU!" she shouted.  
  
"What?" he snapped.  
  
"I wanna talk to you!" she screamed.  
  
"About what?" he asked.  
  
"About everything!!!" she yelled.  
  
Then he ran up to her. "Hey, I heard you need lessons to get your memory back. I talked to Snape and he said I could give them to you." So she followed him to a dark classroom. She kissed his cheek and chills ran allover her body. She was so in love with this mystery man.  
  
Weeks turned into months and she still hadn't gained her memory. Soon the boy who she found out his name was Draco and her were deeply in love. But Hermione was so upset about not having her memory. It was then that Draco found out her secret. He was holding her hands and then moved them up to her wrists. She winced because it hurt.  
  
He asked her what was wrong and she said nothing and kissed him really hard with a lot of tounge. But he wasn't fooled. He looked at her wrists.  
  
SHE HAD BEEN CUTTING HER WRISTS!!!!!!  
  
"WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT!?!" he asked, very worried about her. "I.. I cant tell you."  
  
"you can tell me anything. I thought you loved me."  
  
"I do.. but I cant" his puppy dog eyes persuaded her though.  
  
"Im so depressed, Draco! I don't have my memory! That's why!"  
  
"well can I tell you a secret since you told me yours?" he asked kindly.  
  
She nodded. He sat down on the cold stone floor and she did the same.  
  
"I bet you didn't know that my parents gave me up for adoption." She didn't, but she didn't say anything, and let him continue. "well they did. And then they regretted it. And when I was 8 or 9 years old, they went to look for me at the orphanage. The thing was, I had escaped the orphanage when I was 3. no one knew what had happened to me. But my parents didn't stop looking. Soon they found me in a forest. I was being raised by wolves since I was 3. and they took me away with them. They used a memory charm on me, and I don't remember my childhood anymore. All I remember is from the time that I was 10 and on."  
  
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A/N: OMG!!! DID YOU LIKE DRACOS BIG SECRET!?!?!?! Raised by wolves!!! AND Hermione cuts!!!!!! There are many more surprised to come!!!!!! KEEP READING! 


	3. The End

A/N: Ok, I figure that I should probably keep reminding you this just in case you missed it the first two times. THIS IS A PARODY. It is meant to be funny. It is meant to have dumb plots, bad grammar, and characters who are completely unlike themselves. So calm down, tiger. Once again, as soon as you cross the dashed line, the parody starts.  
  
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DiScLaiMEr: tHeEZ R nOt mY ChArAcTeRz oR nE-tHiNg!! ThEy R JkR's!!!  
  
A/N: HEY GUYZ!!!! LOL im sittin heir chillin w/ mah friends!!!!!!!!!! They said hi!!!!1111 ok newways so I cant wait 4 this next chappie!!! HERE IT GOES!  
  
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Hermione started crying because she didn't know that Draco had such a horrible past!!!!!! BEING RAISED BY WOLVES. THAT SUCKS! She kissed him on the lips and every part of her tingled. She loved him with all of her heart. She was 12 and he was 12 and they were so in love after 2 months it was amazing she loved eery minute of it b/c it was so awesome and they were so In love!!!!!!  
  
They kissed all the time! MANY PEOPLE THOUGHT THAT WAS GROSS!!! But it was ok b/c they were reallyl in love! So 1 day harry and ron were like where is Hermione? And ginny was like I don't know. So they asked everyone and they were all like shes being trained to get her memory back by Draco Malfoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 draco Malfoy was theyre worst enemy and that sucked b/c Hermione was their best friend!!  
  
So one day at dinner harry went up to Hermione and kissed her. She was so scared because who was this crazy guy kissing me?? Then Draco slapped harry hard across the face and his glasses fell and broke!!!! Then a big fight broke out and everyone I nthe great hall started fighting and then Hermione fell onto the ground and got her memory back!!!1  
  
The question was, did she still love Draco now that she remembere deverything?? I mena, geez she floated after the mandrake fell on her head and he kissed her. What was this? Then she went and kissed ron her old best friend and he touched her boobies!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
That was very unwelcome tho b/c she slapped him and was like dude ron that is so uncool don't touch me again! Then she kissed hi magain on the lips.  
  
Then her and Draco got married after they graduated, becayse they were in love!!1  
  
THE END I HOPE YOU LIKED IT OMG THERE WERE SO MANY SECRETS!!!!! YAY!  
  
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A/N: Wow. I loved that story. By the way, it was a parody. Review. 


End file.
